First Thing is First

As I mentioned, I reread the Happiness books by Gretchen Rubin.  I'm going to blog about some of the things I'm doing to change my thoughts to be more positive and find a little more enjoyment in my daily life.  I pretty consistently hold off on starting something because I think that I need a plan, more research, more practice before getting to action.  This tendency toward having a "perfect" plan has prevented me from starting my own project for about two years.  But, I've started it!  I've decided to follow most of the subjects discussed in the book, because then I do not need to research it and there is already a proven successful plan. 

The first subject in the book is Energy.  Yup, I need more energy, I'm a mom.  Sleep is the first thing that I will tackle. It has been a hard transition for me to leave the structure of a work day.  I have always hated getting up in the morning, now that I do not actually need to be anywhere, it's a little more brutal to get up in the morning.  This might be a side effect of my second problem, I go to bed much later than I should.  By nature, I am a night owl.   My entire life has consisted of going to bed later than I should (except for the years when I went to boot camp at 5:30 am or got up for work at 5:45 am).  When I was working though, I had no choice but to begrudgingly get out of bed after hitting snooze three (or more) times.  Now, I can just cuddle with my kids for awhile and convince them to watch a little TV (trust me, it's not hard) and I get another half an hour of half-asleep time.  

So, this is not working.  I'm short on patience when I am tired.  That is the biggest issue that I want to tackle with my home life, so I need to resolve the issues with the source of my impatience.  I am going to go to bed earlier and a will get out of bed earlier (preferably at the buzz alarm on my Fitbit).  I have already improved, but I haven't made it to my goal times yet. I hope by next week, I will have pushed back bed gradually by 15 minutes until I hit my goal bedtime.  This sounds like infant sleep training, right?!  Well, in the morning, I almost have the attitude of a toddler, so I guess it fits:)  Wish me luck.   

Getting Back Into the Swing

There are times I like to pretend that I'm a rebel and I hate time constraints, commitments, and places to go.  The truth is that deep down I crave them.  Structure helps me to feel as if I am a productive person.  Hanging out at my house all day with kids sometimes feels like doing nothing.  Don't get me wrong, we are not actually doing nothing, but we are not doing "adult" stuff.  Sometimes, it bothers me.  I am pretty conflicted about that.   

I love having the opportunity to spend time with my young children.  Here is the thing, I just do not feel like I am enjoying it as much as I should.  I miss interacting with adults.  I miss completing projects.  I miss feeling like I am important.  I know that sometimes I think that other people are judging me because I do not have a job anymore. 

I have decided to put some energy into changing these thoughts.  Staying at home is an important job and I want to be "all in" as a mom.  I know that I will only have this one window of time in my life in which to raise my kids and I want to do it right.  The time I spend thinking about not being productive are wasted.  I am shortchanging both me and my family because I am not focused on positive thoughts.  

I have spent a lot of time figuring out what might help me feel more enjoyment in my daily life as a mom.  I recently reread the books, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home, both by Gretchen Rubin.  I first read the former book in 2012 and loved it.  For years, I have wanted to do my own happiness project, but for some reason or another, I never officially started.  

I am at a point where I need to make a change, so I'm officially starting my very own happiness project.  I deserve it and so does my family, especially my sweet kiddos.  I want to be the best mom that I can be.  After all, this quote from Gretchen Rubin, sums it up, "The days are long and the years are short."  I am going to make the most out of my short time to be with my kids AND I want to have some fun doing it.  

Hello again blog

It's been a few years since I have written anything for this blog, but I'm back.  There has been a lot of changes in our life since my last post.  I am transitioning to life as a mostly stay-at-home mom.  It is more of a struggle than I originally anticipated.  While I love having to opportunity to spend more time with my children, I wasn't prepared for how much they would annoy me!  I'm slightly kidding, but gosh, my three year-old is a masterful button pusher.

Whining

My daughter is in a phase (please God, let it be a phase) in which at least 50% of what she says is a whine.  She also feels the need to constantly repeat it until she receives exactly what she wants.  For example, a common phrase is, "I'm thirsty, Momma. I want some milkie."  You will hear the same line over and over with increasing intensity, added huffs, stomps, hand gestures, and even a possible scream the entire time you are getting out a cup, opening the refrigerator, and pouring milk, until the glass of milk is in her hand.  I doubt that I am alone in the fact that this drives me absolutely insane.  It's not as is she cannot see that I am in the process of addressing her need, so I really do not understand her need to repeat herself and get upset.  
I try my best to remain patient, but it's getting more and more difficult.  My tolerance for whining is getting lower and lower, because the sound of her whine is beginning to sound a lot like fingernails on chalkboard to me. 

What is a supermom?

I used to think that a supermom had a really clean and organized house, cooked dinner every night, woke up and fixed her hair and makeup, didn't wear sweatpants, always had cute projects or fun activities for kids, was hardly ever mad at her husband for stupid stuff, and oh, she also went to work every day.  I really wanted to describe myself that way, but I never could.  I've come to accept that I probably will never describe myself that way either.  I might be able to use some of those descriptors at some times, but I doubt that they will ever be used all at the same time (at least until my kids move out-I'm guessing that is >18 years away).  When I first became a mom, I was semi-okay with the fact that I didn't meet this definition of supermom because I was a student (not quite full-time) trying to become a dietitian and working 70% time in a stressful job. Needless to say, I couldn't do everything and I certainly gave up on makeup:)   


After knew that I was well on my way to becoming a dietitian, I decided that I was going to really strive to be a "supermom."  Then, we decided to have a second child and I was more committed to being a supermom after I finished my internship.  I had all kinds of plans for when I passed the RD exam, when I got a job, after I had the baby, etc.  After each of these things has happened, I've had a hard time with the fact that I still can't do all the supermom things.  I guess it's taken a couple months for me to wake up and realize that I'm being ridiculous.  These things aren't really important.  All the things that make you a REAL supermom (at least the kind I really care about), I'm already doing.  I'm committed to making sure that my kids have the healthiest start at life.  I'm trying to make sure that they have an excellent education and have the opportunity to try activities they enjoy.  So, I breastfeed, I use cloth diapers, I grow food, we make baby food, we read, we discipline, we affirm and nurture their self-esteem, and we love on our kids as much as possible.  I do this because I believe that it will ultimately make them responsible, compassionate, intelligent, hard-working, and successful adults.  I'm sure this is what I've always believed the "real" job description of a supermom actually is.  Sometimes, I get easily distracted by the bling on perfect-looking facades. 

Having said all that, I all still trying to figure out exactly how I can be a supermom most of the time!  I am definitely not perfect.  I get frustrated with my two year-old more often than I want to and I don't do several things often enough (like go to church, let things roll off me, exercise, etc).  Instead of being so hard on myself for not including those, I'm going to try to remember how proud I am of myself for all the supermom activities I already do.  Then, instead of getting upset, I will try to figure out how to include important stuff that I'm not already doing into my life. 

Thank you Comedy Central...

I owe a debt of gratitude to Comedy Central for providing a needed distraction to my cracked and very painful nipples.  Thank goodness Steven Colbert and Revenge of the Nerds could provide a nice laugh for me while I'm feeding my son.  Yesterday, Baby P ate 13 times.  That's a lot of times to feed a baby, so no wonder my poor boobs are mad.  Also, I'm not surprised I feel like a barely functioning person since I only get to sleep in increments of time that are usually less than 90 minutes. 

There really is more of a point to this post than me complaining about sore boobs, spending 1/2 my day feeding a baby, and sleeping in intervals of time that should only be used to torture people.  I want to describe my meeting with an angel otherwise known as Kim, the lactation consultant.  I've known that Baby P and I were doing something wrong in the breastfeeding department for about a week.  I'm not a first-time breastfeeder, so I was not expecting to have any issues. However, that hasn't been the case this time.  I've had incredible pain (like daggers) for several days and I knew that it wasn't just cracked skin.  It was so painful that I would have to do meditative breathing just like when I was in labor (with no epidural) every time I fed him and I usually ended up sobbing by the end.  With encouragement from my midwife and husband, I contacted a lactation consultant, Kim with www.breastfed.biz.  

Lucky for me, Kim was able to see me on the same day I called.  I met with her yesterday and found out that my sweet baby had too shallow a latch.  My cracked nipple is the result of the poor latch.  On top of that, he's a grazer (which I already knew, considering he was falling asleep after about 10 minutes), so the sheer number of feeds was also contributing to my pain.  His grazing was not emptying milk completely, so my milk ducts were stretching and causing more pain.  Eventually, this would have effected my supply, because my body would have assumed that I didn't need all that milk.

Kim was so helpful right from the start.  She was able to show me how to get him to latch on in a different way that would help him get a better mouthful.  She also showed me a more effective way to do compression or what I like to call how to "milk" myself while feeding him.  It took about an hour and we had to repeatedly wake him up to keep eating, but it seemed to work.  He slept for 3.5 hours afterwards.  It's a lot of work to feed him like this and it takes a long time.  I'm willing to put in the effort.  I breastfed my daughter until she was 19 months old and I truly believe that it was one of the best things that I have done in my life.  It's easy to give up while it's really tough, but in all reality, the hard part of breastfeeding doesn't last very long.  If you are having trouble, ask for help.  Lactation consultants are wonderful.  Once you and the baby both get the hang of breastfeeding, it's pretty easy, so beneficial for you both and so rewarding.

Here's hoping that in the near future, I will sleep in 3 hour increments!

It's Just a Number

The first time you step on a scale post-baby is a little brutal.  (unless you're a personal trainer who I went to high school with and you only weigh 6 lbs more than before you were pregnant).  It's just a number, right??  Who cares, right??  Well, I don't necessarily care, but it is still hard to see a number that is twenty pounds more than what you weighed pre-pregnancy.  I'm just going to look at the bright side, at least I weigh 25 lbs less than I did on January 14th. 

Bad Hair

I've been Facebook stalking a lot of babies recently because I swear that 15 people I know had babies within the last month.  I've come to realize that people who have epidurals end up with much better hair for that FIRST PICTURE with their new bundle of joy than people who have a natural birth. 

When I had my daughter, I didn't understand why I looked so bad in my post-birth pictures compared to others.  Now, I've come to the conclusion that the blood, sweat, tears, and cold washcloths for the forehead associated with natural birth really eliminate any possibility of not looking like crap.

Case in point

 Post-Baby A hair in 2009-even after I had cleaned up a little!

Post Baby P in 2012-again, even after I cleaned up a little.


I'm working on making sure that my hair at least looks better than this every day.  Oh, and I'm trying to dress a little better than this each day too, but I might be a little less successful in that endeavor.  In all seriousness, it meant something special to me to wear the same dress to deliver both of my children.  Although, when I look at the dress now, I'm not too excited to wear it outside the confines of a hospital room:)

P.S. When I look at these two pictures, the difference in size between my two kids is really striking.  Geez, Baby P is a big guy...2 lbs makes a huge difference!

He's Here!

Price Homer Lanigan was welcomed into the world on 1/14/12 at 12:41 pm.  
I am very much in love with my new little man!  We feel very blessed to add such a wonderful little person into our family.  His big sister couldn't be more proud or more loving!  

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Maybe my uterus is just too cozy

I have decided that my womb is just so awesome that little people just don't want to vacate.  I mean, I hardly blame them.  Who wouldn't want to hang out with me 24 hrs a day?  However, there comes a time when it's time to exit and that time is quickly approaching for my little guy.  I can tell it's that time because I can hardly walk anymore and when I sit on the floor, it's a huge ordeal for me to return to a standing position.

I wish there were a way to communicate to him that it's really not that bad out here in the world.  His dad, sister, and I are really excited to meet him.  I promise that we're going to take good care of him, feed him well, and snuggle him as much as possible.  He'll have a lot of fun with his big sister, even though she'll probably boss him around A LOT.  He has a pretty nice room too (assuming that he's ok with elephants).  The bottom line is that we're good people-come hang out with us:)