There are times I like to pretend that I'm a rebel and I hate time constraints, commitments, and places to go. The truth is that deep down I crave them. Structure helps me to feel as if I am a productive person. Hanging out at my house all day with kids sometimes feels like doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, we are not actually doing nothing, but we are not doing "adult" stuff. Sometimes, it bothers me. I am pretty conflicted about that.
I love having the opportunity to spend time with my young children. Here is the thing, I just do not feel like I am enjoying it as much as I should. I miss interacting with adults. I miss completing projects. I miss feeling like I am important. I know that sometimes I think that other people are judging me because I do not have a job anymore.
I have decided to put some energy into changing these thoughts. Staying at home is an important job and I want to be "all in" as a mom. I know that I will only have this one window of time in my life in which to raise my kids and I want to do it right. The time I spend thinking about not being productive are wasted. I am shortchanging both me and my family because I am not focused on positive thoughts.
I have spent a lot of time figuring out what might help me feel more enjoyment in my daily life as a mom. I recently reread the books, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home, both by Gretchen Rubin. I first read the former book in 2012 and loved it. For years, I have wanted to do my own happiness project, but for some reason or another, I never officially started.
I am at a point where I need to make a change, so I'm officially starting my very own happiness project. I deserve it and so does my family, especially my sweet kiddos. I want to be the best mom that I can be. After all, this quote from Gretchen Rubin, sums it up, "The days are long and the years are short." I am going to make the most out of my short time to be with my kids AND I want to have some fun doing it.